Day 7 - The Awakening

Can you change over night?

Can you immediately leave behind your old way of thinking, believing and feeling?

In Peace...With Peace.

Day 6 - CHiiQ Cooking

Vegan Low-Carb Tacos

Thank you for cooking with me!

If you don't know this about me then I'll share with you. I am a Pescatarian.

A person who does not eat meat but will eat fish/seafood. 

No Meat

No Pork

No Chicken

No Dairy unless it's Cheese 

This journey began well before I actually committed to it. It was all apart of the "awakening" which I will dive into tomorrow. I tried for five years to cut out meat. Pork went first, then with chicken & beef simultaneously, I went cold turkey (pun intended). 

It felt as if I was doing the right thing, every part of my body embraced this decision. The only thing that I struggled with was what do I eat now.I made so much Bean Dip it was crazy. This is a very popular question from others when you make the transition. There are literally like hundreds of recipes and ways to eat without including meat, maybe thousands. 

I just looked up vegetarian, vegan meals and along the way it became no big deal. Everything can be vegetarian if you remove the meat, duhhh right! 

CHEERS!

**  "I hope you have someone there to rub your tired feet because you've running in their mind all day" -TaNae

All Love 

Day 5 - Shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

So....There is a picture of me on the internet that I did not take and I do not like!

This photo comes from a photographer who took our pictures when I worked for Albertson's and we went on strike. We literally picketed in our pajamas no one cared about their hair, brushing their teeth or nothing. 

Yes there she is, 20 or 21 years old, I had permed hair, un-plucked eyebrows (eeeh), a pierced nose (now retired) and a mouth full of braces. After 5 months you just roll out of bed onto the picket line. 

I confronted him via Facebook, email and DM on his blog and asked him to remove it and he did not even respond. 

During this challenge since I'm being Transparent/Vulnerable, I thought I'm going to be shameless as well. 

The truth is... THIS IS ME! period.the end. 

You know what...He can leave it up, I was so hell bent on the photo and not considering what this photo represented and where I was in my life. I was in a good place, young and free, not a care in the world. I had a cute boyfriend and a paying job. No one could tell me anything. 

BE YOU, BE PROUD OF WHERE YOU COME FROM!

If you aren't there yet, then find a way to get there. 

One of my FAVORITE poems of ALL TIME!

“It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. 

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! 

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it. 

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. 

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence. 

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. 

I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. 

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. 

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. 

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.” 

~Oriah Mountain Dreamer.



~Blessings

Day 3 - Unboxing Gifts to Myself

My favorite Self Love quote is:

If you were arrested for being good to yourself, would there be enough evidence to convict you?

I make it a priority to treat TaNae with love and so if the above question were ever applied to me, I'd be in there for life. 

I haven't always treated myself like a Queen, there have been many times I've allowed myself and others to treat me like I was of no importance. I've come so far... I'm all about forgiving but at someone point "Forgiveness" is not the answer when someone (including yourself) is consistently causing you harm.

There are other measures to take. 



Day 3 Commentary:

Spiralizer

This makes healthy eating a bit easier and fun. Get one!!

-Be easy on yourself, allow yourself to be human!

**Peace**

Day 2 - Working on my Soul

I'm still healing from some things, I've decided that I'm not going to suppress it and push it away. I am going to face it.

In the midst I'm still learning who I am. Amazingly enough I've discovered so many aspects about myself and it's the best feeling ever.

Now I understand many reasons why I feel the way I feel.
Why I respond certain ways. Where my anger comes from, many of my triggers.

I must admit I have this void that I couldn't pin point why it existed. Until this past year. That came about from asking myself questions. Yes the hard questions.

So, I was answering my questions from this book and just working on my soul.

You should try to answer:

If you could make one thing come true for the good of all souls on the planet, what would it be?

Always with Love

Namaste 

Day 1 - The Challenge

As of today I have gained 25lbs. Mostly relationship weight, you know when you fall in love and all the two of you want to do is go out to eat, have movie night every night with pizza, wine and cuddling. Although vegetables made its way in, they were fried or smothered with butter or cheese. Salad too, cheese and ranch dressing...Chips and Dip was a weakness too. 

Since you're so busy in the clouds you don't ever exercise. The little exercise I did, didn't put a dent into anything.

Yep that was me and so now I have to reverse all the days of comfort food and cuddling. 

I was 162lbs, 2 years ago. 

&

Now 

For the record, TRANSPARENCY is apart of the journey so showing my actual weight is indeed progress. 

Honestly very liberating.

This is what I ate today:

Lunch

Shrimp

Brussels sprouts

Green apple 

Tall glass of infused lemon water

Lemon pepper

Garlic powder

Cooked in Water - no oil (optional)

Louisiana hot sauce 😁

Dinner 

(Started eating and forgot to take a photo)

Whiting Fish (not a fan)

Brussels sprouts (again, very tasty)

Strawberries

Lemon pepper

Garlic powder

Cooked in Water - no oil (optional)

Louisiana hot sauce 😁

What I watched on TV:

Inn Saei: The Power of Intuition (Netflix)

Begin Again (Netflix)

I made an exception today for Netflix since I've been in the bed trying to fight off the rest of this flu. I am always careful what I feed my mind. Those were really good choices. 

Namaste

30 Day Challenge - Follow My Journey

I'm finding myself in complete resistance to:  Social Media (even though I'm addicted), certain Foods, Certain Movies, and a host of other things. 

My spirit has been telling me to detox from it, take a break from it for at least a year, although I have been trying but was unsuccessful, now I can't even help it. Now I am surrendering to it. 

The universe will inevitably try to make us whole. I don't want to get shutdown to Shut down, meaning when God/Universe needs to heal you or elevate you (make you whole), if you keep pushing away from it and especially when your soul is crying for change for the better and/or something wonderfully new, You better believe it will orchestrate many aspects of your life to accomplish this. This can be done in an unforgiving and what feels like ruthless way aka Rock Bottom... Just for the record Rock Bottom SUCKS! 

Everybody's rock bottom is different and everyone's process may not be like mine. Listen to your body and your intuition it's always telling you which direction to go. 
  

I'm in-tuned and responsive enough with myself to know when to say when. My When is NOW. 


My Journey begin April 1 2017. (30 Days) Could be more.

I will be vlogging and posting the entire time. This feels right, this resonates with me.

My detox consist of the following:

• Shutting down all social media: Instagram, Facebook and Twitter

• Change Eating Habits and Exercise: Goal is to Lose 20lbs by months end
• Focus on my goals
• Turn off the Television... Ahem Netflix
• Finish 4 projects:
• Delve into my Extra curriculum activities. i.e. Painting
• Read more
• Write more: Journaling, drawing, doodling, venting, poetry, novels, biographies
• Spend more time in Meditation
• Spend time in Nature
• Being vulnerable & Transparent
• Minimize the stress more importantly
• If I could expunge myself from work, I totally would. Work alone has it's own stress.

* I will not quit all of this after 30 days. Many I already do but I have slacked off and fell off or half assed it. Now I get back on track. 

One of the few poems that hit me right in the heart. 
God totally led me to this. 

One Day my Soul just opened up

and things started happenin'

things I can't quite explain

I mean

I cried and cried like never before

I cried tears of a thousand mothers

I couldn't even feel anything because

I cried 'til I was numb.

One day my soul just opened up

I felt overwhelming pride

what I was proud of

only God knows!

Like pride of a hundred thousand fathers

basking in the glory of their newborn sons

I was grinnin' from ear to ear!

One day my soul just opened up

I started laughing

and I laughed for what seemed like forever

wasn't nothin' particularly funny goin' on

but I laughed anyhow

I laughed the joy of a million children playin'

in the mud

I laughed 'til my sides ached

Oh God! it felt so good!

One day, my soul just opened up

There were revelations, annihilation, and forgiveness

memories of things I'd seen and done before of places I'd been, although I didn't know when they were lives I'd lived

people I'd loved

battles I'd fought

victories I'd won

and wars I'd lost.

One day, my soul just opened up and out poured all the things

I'd been hiding

and denying

and living through

that had just happened moments before.

One day, my soul just opened up

and I decided

I was good and ready!

I was good and ready

to surrender

my life

to God.

So, with my soul wide open,

I sat down

wrote her a note

and told her so. 

This is an amazingly priceless concepts. Personally I grew up feeling inhibited and a little bit angry. Not sure why or what it was. I was perplexed for most of my life and the confusion as to why I felt social anxiety, wanting to always be perfect, pretty much wearing a mask and always second guessing my response to people, afraid of judgement and shame.

No one has ever perfected parenting and that includes my Loving and wonderful & supportive Mother & Father. I grew up in a strict religious environment from all areas except for school. This entails stripping a child of his/her abilities to emote because we were taught Anger is wrong, self expression of crying and whining is wrong. Certain interest and desires are wrong even tho your mind and heart is showing great interest, it's wrong and/or a sin, you will begin to think something is wrong with you.

To make a long story short, The Most FREEING and emotionally validating experience that catapulted me into healing and understanding is writing my Dad a letter expressing my feelings and him being RECEPTIVE to it, not DISMISSING me but validating my feelings. There was a weight lifted from my soul. I can't even explain the feeling.

Just when I thought that was it. My Mom actually came to me and apologized for making us live up to such high, sometimes unobtainable, standards that we both were taught in church. I'm all for structure and some levels of religion, however debilitating a person of their True Self is a recipe for Low self esteem/self worth, rebellion, feeling unloved, undeserving, etc. a host of traumatic emotions. You can't figure out,for the life of you, what's wrong with me.

Neither one of them justified their parenting with excuses. They understood that this was MY perspective and I was entitled to that. They supported my FEELINGS, took me by the hand showed me that they UNDERSTOOD. Emotions are how we survive. Emotions determine our happiness.

When we are emotionally invalidated, the hurt, the pain, the betrayal, the anger comes, all which is inevitable.

This is for the women who don’t give a f**k.

 The women who are first to get naked, howl at the moon and jump into the sea.


The women who drink too much whisky, stay up too late and have sex like they mean it.

The women who know they aren’t sluts because they enjoy sex, but are human beings with a healthy sexual appetite.

The women who will ask you for what they need in bed.

This is for the women who seek relentless joy; the ones who know how to laugh with their whole souls.

The women who speak to strangers because they have no fear in their hearts.

The ones who wear “night make up” in the morning or don’t own mascara.

The women who know their worth, who plant their feet and roar in their brilliance.

The women who aren’t afraid to tell a man to get the f**k out of her heart if he doesn’t honor her heart.

This is for the women who rock combat boots with frilly skirts.

The women who swear like truck drivers.

The women who hold the people who harass or wrong them with fierce accountability.

The women who flip gender norms and false limitations the bird and live to run successful companies giving “the man” a run for his name.

The ones who don’t find their success a compliment just because they have a vagina.

Women like Gloria Steinem who, when she was told, “We want a writer, not a woman. Go home,” kept writing anyway.

This is for the women who drink coffee at midnight and wine in the morning, and dare you to question it.

For the women who open doors for men and are confident enough to have doors opened for them.

Who use “no” to be in service for themselves.

Who don’t give a damn about pleasing the world, and do sweetly as they wish.

For the superheroes—the single moms who work three jobs to make it. I salute your resilient, cape-flapping, ambitious selves.


This is for the women who throw down what they love, and don’t waste time following society’s pressures to exist behind a white picket fence.

The women who create wildly, unbalanced, ferociously and in a blur at times.

The women who know how to be busy and know how to plant their feet in the earth and get grounded.

These are the women I want around me.
By Janne Robinson

**I hope you find your happy**

Relationship Lottery!

Relative to a partner in crime, I'd watch paint dry with the right person. That's the true test of absolute compatibility. If you can have fun doing that, you've won the relationship lottery.

Hassan Pérez: ...or one watching tv on the couch and the other laying across the same couch reading with his/her head on the tv viewer's lap. No words said because communication at the right level can sometimes transcend words.

TaNae Sanders: I love it...Comfortable silence right.

Hassan Pérez: Exactly. Like a nice pair of trusty jeans....

TaNae Sanders: Yes fresh from the laundry with all its rips and wear & tear.

Hassan Pérez: ...but nothing feels better because nothing fits better.

TaNae Sanders : And you keep them forever. 

Hassan Pérez : No matter what....

TaNae Sanders: NO MATTER WHAT!

Hassan Pérez: ...and you always seem to find a reason to wear them, no matter the occasion, no matter the season. 

TaNae Sanders : Even if you haven't washed them in days maybe even weeks. 

Hassan Pérez : And everyone else is "dressed up," with your jeans you still show up. 

TaNae Sanders: ......and show off, because you feel like you are draped in cashmere silk. 

Hassan Pérez : but so much better because soft silk shreds while soft jeans last through all weather 

TaNae Sanders : Rain, sleet or snow 

Hassan Pérez:  and, of course, breezy, sunny days and warm, moonlit nights 

TaNae Sanders:  They're always your "Go-To" even in the midst of a bunch of others.

 Hassan Pérez : Especially since you don't have to go to because they're already there.

Deeeeeeeeeeep!! 

Lil. Impromptu dialogue poetry thingy thing with my buddy. 

* may you find joy in the unlikeliest of places.