21st century dating

 Sometimes I come across a post that makes me understand what's happening in life that may confuse me till no end...ya know? It's something you just can't put into words. Like this post here:

**Dating in the 21st Century is by far one of the most ridiculous processes ever. People are so complicated. You must play games. You must lie. You have to act like you don't care even when you do. You must date multiple people to keep the attention of that one because it's generally just casual. You must be unavailable if you are too available people get turned off. You have to ignore calls even if you want to pick up. Essentially if you are a true lover, you have to resist everything that comes natural to you to play this "game" you idiots love to play. It changes everything for me to pretend like I don't care. I actually stop giving a !&@k. ~Unknown

Wow! That hits the nail on the head, the elements and genesis of these points of dating can get deep, it's almost unfathomable. Like what came first? Someone finally put it into words. I always ask, what the hell is going on????

If I may, break this down and say what I choose to typically do on my end:

1) People are so complicated:  ** I'm a woman, I'm complicated in the eyes of men at times but I'm an open book and I'm okay with emoting and loving. I understand it's all a risk and my actions need to be consistent.period. This uncomplicates things.

2) You must play games: I have to admit, I have played the game to sustain and maintain, however I ain't got time for that ANYMORE. The games are over and I've retired. I respect real love and people in general way too much to become a victim and give in to the fear of LOSING or being DISAPPOINTED. I'm not afraid of that. Eff Fear!

3) You have to act like you don't care even when you do: When my persistence and showing that I care is looked at as being THIRSTY, Houston we have a major problem. I remember when guys had BIG Balls and Guts to go after the woman of his dreams even when she said No, he had the confidence to say I can get her, I will get her. 70% of the time, he got her. FASSSTTT Forward to 2015, that isn't sweet and charming anymore... it's Thirsty and that's ridiculous. Fear has replaced emoting and showing the other that you really care. So who really cares or not care? I know there are those handful of people who are so scarred and bitter that showing how you feel is looked down upon. Not I ... Not I!

4) You must date multiple people: I understand this all to well because some fools aren't trying to take you seriously so you're not trying to put all of your emotional / attention / affection eggs in his/her one basket even tho you like them, but you're actually wanting to be in a relationship. Yeah something like that.

5) You have to ignore calls - Some people don't want you to be TOO available because that's too easy. So when you pull back some, they gravitate more. It's stupid, I know. It's ALWAYS the guys I'm not checking for that are the most in tuned and attentive. They call and are Consistent and persistent and the ones you actually like and show attention to well.... unless they can appreciate you for it, they fall off and be not so present until you fall back. Weird, I'm so sorry there are people out there like that. I really am. You don't need those girls/guys.

6) All that stuff kills the excitement, how can you be excited if you're always having to go against the grain. I say, be yourself and of course be smart and not foolish. Don't give so much of yourself to one person if they adhere to the above foolery! Do what comes natural, and don't be mad at those people for they know not what they do and we're just gonna leave it at that.  Their loss.

Good Luck!

When ....

When, I too do that dumb stare ...... LOL that stare is awful. You will especially find little kids doing this.

When he just couldn't be anything else for Halloween.  10 Points for creativity, 0 points for sanitation.

I actually have so many captions for this, gotta pull out my inner Dave/Kat/Martin/Rock etc.  I'll do ten: 

1) When your home girl is a cosmetology major and hasn't put her new skills to use on herself.

2) When your son brings his girl home to meet the parents and this is who he couldn't stop raving about for months.

3) When you and your girl need to shave, but she won't.

4) When she has a fine a** husband and you single and can't even find someone to like.

5) When she wins Miss California and you didn't.

6) When she has 100k followers on IG and most of her comments are "You're perfect!" "That's Bae" "Goals"!! Whaaaa??

7) When you haven't seen your best friend since High school and you run into him at the Grocery store.

8) When he calls in because his stomach is cramping. Wait huh??? LOL

9) When this is the new Standard of beauty.

10) When this is who your dude cheated on you with. Whyyyyy??

When it's a good thing your job doesn't include Integrals, derivatives, series expansions. They'd be especially screwed if it included respiratory mechanics, hemodynamics,

converting mg to g, g to mg, mg to mcg, and mcg to mg.

When he can make you feel like this.

When my AJ Pooh got a little boo boo....he was not happy. LOLOLOL!

When you really had no idea, until his scent his aura revived your senses. (Sigh)

When Billie Dee Williams was the man and he is still fine.

Beauty & the Beast

I blame my mother and my granny for the obsession. True Love...??

MCM - Male Crush Mondays

It's been a long time since I had an MCM.

I have to select Denzel Washington! 

To be honest, I was never googley eyed over him unless it was his acting skillz but I saw this and was like Dayyyum!!! He looks great and at 60. he grew out the Goatee....know I love me some scruff LOL.

I've always loved Denzel for his passion and his talent. How can he be denied, he is just great at what he does.

Cheers to this Beautiful Man!!!

Happy Belated Birthday!

Congrats on the cover of GQ!

Dear, Future child(ren) of mine.

Dear, Future Child(ren) of mine -

You WILL know wussup!!! Before you are birthed into this Earth, Mommy will feed into your spirit, nourishment and knowledge, Truth and the opposed as I know and understand it.

You will know the face of REAL beauty and essence of your TRUE nature. I will receive an Authentic King to father you and to become one with me and I pray that foundation will spawn individuals who LOVE unconditionally and defend with organic compassion and ultimately go out into this big beautiful ever evolving metropolis and STAMP it with your light!! Your fingerprint shall leave positivity and love on the hearts and minds of those you come into contact with. You will represent us without unwavering fear and anger and pain that harbors within many people, hindering your abilities to influence, to inspire, to lead, to LOVE, to understand, to accept, to fight, to be loyal, to speak with LOVE.

I will fight for your life, your health, your mind. I will embrace your individualism and teach you what self love requires and when you seek a man/woman to become unified with, I pray that you see their value and significance. Never judge your present and future with voices from the past. Grasp events that challenge your ability, see things and people for who and what they are and believe them even if your heart says something else...you can approach with LOVE but don't be foolish and don't act foolishly, you will grow from it. Hurt is inevitable and so is disappointment and let downs but so is joy, peace, and LOVE.  I say inevitable because that is life, but I will sow those seeds of victory, I will claim it  for your life.

You will have a sense of humor. Laughter is healing, you need fun times in a world so serious and filled with evil and hard times. Not every moment warrants play but most of your life should be filled with happiness and doing what you love. According to your blood line, you're going to have a goofy side.

 I will be honest with you about life, As my mother was with me. I will keep you in as much of the light as possible or as you are ready for according to your maturity level and whatever amount information you can comprehend.

I will give you freedom to make mistakes and be there when you can't get past it or feel you haven't learned from it.

I will give you full credit and not limit you, I believe your capabilities will go far beyond understanding. I will encourage you and push when needed. We live in a world of endless possibilities and we will not stop you from being the best and being everything you can be.

GROW!

LOVE!

Have PEACE!

FIGHT with dignity for what you believe in!

Live in TRUTH!

Have COMPASSION!

EAT HEALTHY and EXERCISE!

RESPECT women/men!

Be faithful, attentive, affectionate, respectful and honest to your PARTNER!

Be LOYAL!

Be a LEADER!

Use PROPER GRAMMAR!

Know when to say NO and YES!

GIVE to those in need!

Be NICE!

SMILE because someone may need it

GO after your DREAMS!

SAVE your money!

Do not engage in unhealthy SEXUAL practices.

Be RESPONSIBLE!

Do NOT be vengeful/spiteful.

Seek RESOLUTIONS and if none can be obtained, find a way to adjust.

Be HONEST with people.

EMOTE and own your emotions but do not wallow.

Do NOT fear Rejection.

Listen to GOD and talk in prayer about anything and everything. That time is for you.

KNOW, MOMMY is always HERE.

Believe in YOURSELF

Always AIM high

BELIEVE in the powers of the UNIVERSE.

Be the KING/QUEEN that you are. 

Be wonderful!

The man you date should ....

To the good women in the world, you deserve a man who has it all. He could be a writer, a runner or an investment banker for all I care. Just date a man who has all the qualities you want in a partner. This isn’t a dating checklist by any means. It’s just a catalyst to get you thinking about the type of man with whom you want to be. The right man for you is out there, so don’t settle. Be patient.

1) The man you date should surprise you, fascinate you and make you smile. This man should make you better. Date a man who travels. Date a man who will climb mountains, surfs waves and who likes to explore. Date a man who is interested in other cities, cultures and the world. A man who travels will have an open mind and isn’t afraid to experience new things. This sense of adventure will translate into your relationship.

2) Date a man who is comfortable with who he is. This man will be confident in himself and won’t need you to tell him every day that they're handsome because he already knows he is.

3) Date a man who isn’t afraid to show you who he is. This man will be easy to wake up next to and make you feel comfortable.

4) Date a man who is smart. He doesn’t need to have a degree in neuroscience, but date a man who can carry an intellectual conversation about something for which he is passionate. This man will challenge you and make you think. You will always be fascinated by what he has to say.

5) Date a man who has his own hobbies. They don’t need to be your hobbies, as it is good if you have different interests.

6) Date a man who has many things in his life that define him.

7) Date a man who is interesting.

8) Date a man who has a bit of an edge and isn’t afraid to show it. Maybe he’s a little quirky or weird, but let’s be honest, you are, too. His differences are what set him apart from everyone else.

9) Date a man who has goals. He doesn’t need to have it all figured out. Actually, it’s better if he doesn’t. But, date a man who has a clear idea of whom he wants to be in the future. He might not be there yet, but he is on the right path.

10) Date a man who lives his life to the fullest. This man won’t need to go out on extravagant dates; he will have fun doing just about anything with you.

11) Date a man who appreciates the little things in your relationship. He will treasure the time he gets to spend with you.

12) Date a man who makes you laugh out loud. Maybe it’s his corny jokes or that he’s not afraid to call you out on your corny jokes, but you can always count on his to lighten the mood.

13) Date a man who also understands and appreciates your sense of humor. His laugh will be the best medicine.

14) Date a man who is curious and who loves to learn. He will ask many questions, but his curiosity will allow him to get to know you in a way that nobody else ever has. He will become your best friend.

15) Most importantly, date a man who makes you better. Amongst him being on a path to fulfill his own hopes and dreams, he will be your biggest supporter. This man will surprise you every single day with his kindness and generosity. And, if you ever need anything, he will be there for, you without hesitation. He will let you in and help you discover the amazing person you are. He will inspire you to not only be a better partner, but also a better human being. When you find a man who makes you better, keep him close and treat him well. He deserves it and so do you.


~I didn't write this, I thought it presented some means to thinking of a potential mate.

What I find really sexy about men!

SEXY MAN 

 HANDS - Clean, SHORT Clean nails, somewhat soft looking, a little TLC goes a long way.

GRAY HAIRED MEN - I don't know what it is, but it's sooo attractive.

Perhaps it's a reflection of age, which could be wisdom...idk.

It's Sexy!

 

BRACES -  Especially if you're over 30...it's so HOT!!

HANDS on the FACE KISS - Do that every single time, it's romantic, it's endearing, it's just sexy! You should never not do that.

SCRUFF! - I love a scruffy man. But, wait but there needs to be a bit of grooming with the scruff. Don't just let it sprout weeds. 

TALL MEN - For some reason, just because you're tall I still find you HOT. Then I have to come back to reality and say "Girl....He is only height!"  LOL

CLEAN SNEAKERS - You could be like on some I just rolled out of bed or I'm working on the car today outfit but if you have on a fresh pair of sneakers, SEXY! Then I'm like "the lounge look is intentional." I never had a boyfriend who didn't wear fresh kicks, ever.

FRESH OUT OF THE SHOWER SMELL - I'm not huge on cologne and men smother themselves with it and in my mind I'm just like "Dayyyyuumm" Sinuses start acting up. Not this girl. I'd rather you smell like soap. Don't get me wrong, Cologne still does something to me but I prefer soapy.

CONSCIOUS MEN - This should be first, however this isn't in sequential order. I saw THIS clip (just one of many)and was brought to my feet. What if all men were like that....what if all black men (not necessarily thinks the same but is strong in his speech and thoughts). Ooooh!! 100% FIRE! SEXY! I think MX represent what a conscious man is, he has strong beliefs and understanding of life, he cares about his people and his drive is incredible and he is never apologetic for fighting for what he believes in. He speaks well,he reads books, he's educated (self or schooling) and not easily led astray. being conscious often times create discipline and respect for self and others and their woman, women in general and rules out weaknesses. He cares about how he represents himself. When a man offers enlightenment and starts dropping profoundness and knowledge....I'm instantly in heaven. THE BEST THING EVER!!

 FUNNY/SILLY - What's better than a sense of humor? What's better than a man making me ROFLMBO???? I love laughing and a funny man appears differently in my eyes almost all the time from the initial impression.  

GLASSES - NERD ALERT!!  I love hipsterish, nerdish, library-going, book -toting kind of guys.... looking the part is what makes it SEXY!!!

I like these post...

My Boy Thay - Praying for him!

Thich Nhat Hanh

What a blessed soul. His book has changed my life in so many ways and on so many levels.

He is currently facing an illness and is getting very old. He had a brain hemorrhage and is under doctors care. I send forth my love and energy of healing and pray for his full recovery.

He has touched and changed so many lives and perhaps we have to accept that one day his time will come as shall all of ours and his work here on this earth was nothing short of wonderful and I will always remember him for that.

~Blessing and Healing Mr. Thay!  

Kool and the Gang

So I spent nearly a month trying to figure out this song. I heard it on the radio and I was jamming to it.

However, by the time I got home I had forgotten the words to look it up.

All I could remember was "You're the one, the one for me..." that was it...nothing. I didn't know the group name, if they were black, the era, not one single other word.

I would sing it to my peeps and nobody else could figure it out either.

Tho, highly frustrated, I was determined to find out what this song was.

So one day I was all in the KTG mix and one song kinda sounded similar to the one that I was looking for and there was that light bulb! Ahhhhh! It was Joanna.

Anyway, they are my favorite group right now. This changes but for now it's KTG time.

 #ILoveMusic